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  • Dr. Ted Klontz

What Do You Have To Say About That?

Another 21 souls lost. A colleague asked me what I thought about the news. The first thing that flashed through my mind was how terribly tragic it is to live in a country that believes it is more important to have the right to own a weapon of war, than it is that children have a right to live.

Nearly 300 school shootings here in America. We are #1 in the world in that category. The country that comes in #2 is Mexico, with 8. “Houston, we have a problem.”

They asked what I thought the problem was. Without thinking, I replied, “It’s simple, the shooter had a spiritual problem.” I went on to say, “He is just reflective of our country, our country and our world has a spiritual problem.”


I said a spiritual problem. Thankfully there is a difference. I didn’t always know that. it can be pretty convincingly argued that religion is responsible for the decimation of populations of human beings as great as any other force in human history.

I was giving a talk one day on family systems 30 years ago. When I finished the talk, a Native American (Lakota) man approached me and said, “You have a problem with spirituality, don’t you?” I was shocked. The topic had been family systems. Not religion or spirituality or anything even close to it. Surprisingly, I found myself confessing “Yes, I do.” He offered his hand and asked me if I could feel it. I told him I could. He looked down at our joined hands and said, “We are connected, we are in a spiritual moment.” He then turned and walked away.

I was thunderstruck. What I understood in that moment was he was suggesting that any time I feel connected to anyone and/or anything, I am in a spiritual moment. When connection doesn’t exist, destruction is predictable. Wow!! What a concept.

I have noticed that the more connected I feel to someone, (including myself), or something, the more I want to protect it or them. The less I would ever wish or do them harm. The more likely I am to give of myself to help them.

This connection is most effective when It starts with being connected to myself. The more connected (spiritual moments) and at peace I am with what it means to be me, a human being, capable of doing anything that any other human being has done, or ever will do, the less likely I am to hurt myself or someone else. Lives, my own, and in this case, the lives of 19 innocent children and 2 adults are at stake.


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