Random Thoughts July
The word “portal” has always seemed a positive thing to me. An opening, an opportunity. My recent experience in the medical world has changed all of that. I now shudder when I hear the words “We have a portal for your convenience……”
Recently I realized I needed an altitude (not attitude) adjustment. So, I moved to Boulder, Colorado.
No, seriously. I am a card-carrying member of the unofficial navel gazing society (we who are members of that society, tend to instinctively look inward first, to see and try to listen to what our senses are telling us in an attempt to understand and manage what is happening and determine what, if anything, to do about what is happening ‘out there’). An altitude adjustment requires that I look up and out and into that which exists outside myself. Some people call what I would then be gazing at, the divine. By the way, when I do that, I notice my attitude automatically adjusted upward too.
When I feed and support my own happiness, I am nourishing my ability to love. That’s why, to love, for me, means to learn and hone the art of nourishing my own happiness. I can’t give much of what I don’t have much of. I know this is not an original thought. All the iconic religious figures, poets and philosophers have said the same thing. Even airline attendants know and preach this. Many times, a day. “Put your own mask on first…….”
I was struck by the phrase that suggests that we adults have a two-fold responsibility to the young. Raising the child as we mentor their soul. The only way I know that could possibly happen is for me to know and be at peace with my own soul, my own essence.
“That will be $18.50,” she says. I jokingly respond, “I remember that year.” We both chuckle. Later, I remember that 1850 was the beginning of a decade of the Irish potato famine. A decade that directly impacted my great-grandfather. It resulted in his coming to North America, creating his only daughter, (my grandmother), impacting my father and is half the reason I exist. Somewhere in my genes, if I am to believe epigenetics (and I do) I was, indeed, remembering and reliving, or perhaps more accurately, re-feeling that tragic era.
As I awaited my hip replacement surgery, I was moving so slowly that automatic doors don’t notice me coming. I had to wave my hands to let ‘them’ know that I was there. It reminds me of what was once said of a co-worker of mine. “One would have to drive a stake in the ground at 8:00 AM, to recognize any movement that he had made by 4:00 PM.
I had the thought recently that being a part of an intimate relationship is like a musical score. There are high notes, there are low notes, there are some notes that last longer than others. Sometimes the musical piece moves rapidly, sometimes maddeningly slow. There are loud parts, there are soft parts, there are parts that move faster than others. There are periods of time when there is utter silence, There are moments of recognizable themes, there are clashing moments and delicate ones, discordant sounds and those of perfect harmony, there are solo moments and total ensemble moments. There are parts that I really enjoy and other parts that I have yet to learn to enjoy the magic of. There are moments of great expectations, and moments of dread and sadness. There are parts that I like better than others. Great musical scores have all these components and more. Great relationships seem to be made up of the same, at least mine do.
I was rudely reminded that those I love are on loan from the divine, not mine to own (though there are times when I would like to, and forget and try to).
Imagination cannot come to fruition without immersion in the natural world; thus the purpose of the Ultimate Listening® Workshops.
In my professional field doing “Trauma Work” is the latest rage. I believe that is an example of a “False Flag” operation. Sincerely and earnestly well-meaning and, missing the mark.
For hundreds of years those who can have argued about the causes of human behavior. Some say our human behavior is dependent on our genetics or our nature. Others argue that our behaviors can be traced back to the environment we are raised/live in, or nurture. I would say that being in nature, literally being in the natural world, has proven to be the source of my soul’s food, water, and rest. So, to my satisfaction, I’ve solved the debate. Nature nurtures me. No more either or.
The mirror that we look into only reflects us back ½ sized. Both what we judge as “the good” and “the less than good.”
Instead of the adage of “grow up” (and away from myself), I’ve done better when I followed the adage “grow down” (closer and into myself).