Moments

Ted Reads Moments

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Looking back over my life, I can see there have been dozens of moments that were absolutely real to me. Moments I didn’t ask for, expect, or even want. Some were shocking, challenging, inconvenient. All of them were big enough to change the direction of my life.

These awarenesses were so powerful they couldn’t be ignored, even when I wished they would go away. Clear, strong, direct, undeniable messages that seemed to come out of nowhere—heard only by me.

I’ve shared before some of those moments of momentous messages: a command whispered on a mountaintop, an admonition in the desert, an unshakable feeling as I stood over a coffin-shaped depression in the earth. Messages like: “You’re done here.” “Don’t do this.” “You hate your life.” “You need to be here.” “You don’t belong here.” “Welcome home” from places I’d never been. There are dozens more examples.

Sometimes the message arrived in words. Other times, in a rush of tears or a sense of awe, or the unmistakable chill of truth. Sometimes the message was clear, plain, direct. Appearing as a puzzle, a gentle nudge, a thunderclap that cracked my life wide open.

No matter how the messages came, I can say this with complete certainty: the messages have never been wrong. Not once.

For the first quarter of my life I didn’t listen.  I was taught not to.  I was warned not to. Then came the day when all of “Their” truths for me and about me disintegrated like a wet napkin hit by a firehose.  I was left with nothing but shreds in my hands.  “Their” truths for me nearly killed me. I learned my lesson.

The messages I am talking about aren’t little nudges about preferences or wishes. They’re not about who to marry or what job to take. These are big essential truths (impossible to deny) calling me to see things I’d rather not see about how I was living. Truths that often seemed, at first, impossible to act on.

What should I make of these moments, these thoughts, these voices, these messages?  Psychotic breaks? Hallucinations? Delusions? Some clinicians might say so.

What do I believe? I’m more and more convinced these messages came and continue to come from the Cosmos, the Divine, the Great Mystery, God - whatever word feels right to you. They come to me, about me, for me. No interpreter needed.

I have a hunch I’m not alone in this. I suspect many people have experienced similar moments where these kinds of messages come to them. Some are fortunate enough to have been taught to recognize and trust and act on these moments. Many do not have that kind of support.  My belief?  Even if nobody else understands, or believes, or sees what you see or hear - if it’s true for you, that’s enough.

In our culture we as a rule aren’t taught to honor these kinds of messages. We learn instead to dull them, to turn away. We do it to ourselves, and then we do it to others. It certainly is easier to latch on to someone else’s truth. 

Most of us have been taught not to trust our own deepest wisdom. We’re told that someone else (someone with a title or a book) knows better. And when our own knowing doesn’t match theirs, we’re pressured to dismiss our truth, to believe they must be right.  But the messages keep coming, whether we listen or not. I believe they are part of the universal energy of being human.

You might have had experiences of listening to yourself, following your own truth and still making painful mistakes. Maybe that taught you that you can’t trust your own instincts.  I see it differently.

When we stop listening; when we never learn how to recognize the voice of our own wisdom, it gets harder to hear. So, what comes through can be distorted, inaccurate, or confusing—not because the wisdom is flawed, but because our receiving artery gets clogged up, from underuse and lack of maintenance.  Over time we forget how to recognize, trust, and act on this guidance.

There are people and institutions that have a lot invested in convincing us we shouldn’t listen to ourselves. I have come to believe that their reluctance is based on fear and inexperience.  In my experience, in its pure form, human nature is good.  Not only good, but beautiful. 

More than once, I have wondered why it is that of all of creation we are told that human beings are the one flawed part? Who benefits from that story? I know the answer.

Yes, we share some common parts (feet, hands, hearts) but none of them are exactly the same. Fingerprints, voices, souls - each is unique. Why wouldn’t our truth, our view of the universe, be unique too? Why wouldn’t the messages that come to us, for us, be ours alone?  Similar perhaps, but not exactly the same.

Quantum physics suggests each of us has a unique role to play in connecting parts of the universe that would never meet otherwise. Alchemists.  Maybe the guidance we receive is designed specifically to help us fulfill that purpose.

Some of you know that I had what I call a near-death experience. Listening to others share their stories, I hear the same pattern: similarities, but also unique details. What if that’s true not only at the end of life, but throughout it?

When I was young, I asked the wisest person I knew where I could find the source of all truth. I was ready to go anywhere, do anything to serve it. I wanted the name of the book, the path to follow. His answer stunned me.

“You are,” he said.  I was furious. “What am I supposed to do with that? I don’t know anything! That’s why I came to you!” He just smiled and nodded. The conversation was over.

It took me decades to understand what he meant: The wisdom you seek will come to you. Listen and watch it.

I’d love to hear about some of the moments when you have heard your own clear voice of truth. The ones that changed everything.